♥this one's for you and me, living out our dreams

Saturday, January 25, 2014

you know how people talk about hope - about how hope is the light in the darkest of tunnels; the rainbow after the rain; the budding of new leaves after the winter.

but they don't talk about how false hope, do they, about how false hope IS the darkness in the tunnel; how it festers in your heart and slowly consumes you (like poison)

about how it torments you slowly, painfully; conjuring fantasies of what ifs and fairytale endings that could never happen
about how it drives you to despair with the constant yearning and pining and sheer wanting

and how it holds you captive to its torture

as you spiral into madness

hope; hope is a beautiful thing, but also the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.

i hope, but there is an indiscernible line between hope and false hope, and how much of it is real?

♥ 5:58 AM

Thursday, January 16, 2014

#100happydays challenge

day 1: 13 jan

os results!!!! alright such days are really either a Happy day or a Sad day which stays with you for life and i'm so, so glad it turned out to be the former!!! did better than expected for hcl os :') honestly idk how i got that kind of score maybe my marker confused my paper with someone else's but hey i'll take what i can get!!! good job everyone else for making it through and if you didn't do as well as expected - just remember that you are worth so much more than your grades!!!! then went for lunch at justacia with yx bern kish jen before heading to jen's house for sleepover (actually sherlock spazzing n card game session hahaha) (also it is weirdly amusing watching bern and jen quarrel he he he pls don't let them know i said that) we taught steph to play bridge!!!!!!!!!! aha i love teaching people card games it makes me feel damn professional

we wanted to pull all-nighter but i guess being 17 has taken its toll on me couldn't even make it to 3!!!!!!! SO WEAK GILLIAN =_______= anyways drifted off to sleep while yx was watching carrie and jen was nagging at her to turn off the computer HAHAHAH

day 2: 14 jan

woken up by yx being annoying and almost sitting on my face

then we went to her house before heading off to hcjc oh!!! oh ya jenny tagged along bec we managed to convince her we were transferring to hc AND KIND OF CONVINCE HER TO TRANSFER ALSO HAHAHAHA damn qianbian HAHA also we both wore school shirts with the word raffles scrawled across damn obnoxiously HAHA also ran into a lot of 6a buds there!!! darryl bx (n he asked me to join waterpolo bec he legit believed i was going to hc HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO) JN KZJ YANYEE KAT GG!!!! also qingyuan but i think she doesnt recognise me la also she very scary so. then went to nyjc oh to kope all their free food and goodie bag with gg heh heh.

day 3: 15 jan

rj open house! what the blogging is daaaaamn tiring but anyway i will press on like a brave ncc warrior ok went to rj open house w 415 to look see look see wah campus is damn big and the prev few times i've been here i keep getting lost?!??!?! last time we tried finding the pac and ended up at ri y1-4 side HAHA anyway after oh went to marshmallow cafe w noobs + tricia!!!! sian jip tomorrow, school again sIAN

♥ 5:48 AM

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

ok first off: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CYNTHIA!!!! hope you had a brilliant birthday and that u like my insta dediaction HAHA

anyway guess whose birthday was before hers???
(kelly's happy birthday kelly) AND MINE HOHOHOO

ya anyway i am 17 now and it feels NOTHING like how i expected 17 to be
when i was younger i thought i'd be really hot and sexy and pretty and have a gaggle of good looking hunks to serve my every whim
and i'd spend my whole day reclining on a sparkly pink beach chair next to the pool in my seaside villa and casually sip champagne and just generally be damn rich and cool and sexy and perfect
(in my defense i hadn't heard of jc last time yet)

well something obviously went wrong somewhere....... instead of being treated like teen royalty and
being a living breathing barbie doll guess what i am stuck at home awaiting os results (MONDAY SOB) and the much-dreaded reopening of school

but i guess that's reality, and you know what LIFE ISN'T THAT BAD AT ALL when you have awesome people to share it with!!
and i'm really really thankful for everyone's birthday well-wishes and (esp!!) those who went out w me and THE SURPRISE HOHOHHAOA

went out with tricia and rachel on 6 jan for lunch and just to hangout generally..... originally wanted to go to a cafe but we somehow ended back at justacia haha. but whatever, with outings like these it's not the destination but the people who matter. had a blast HAHA being a public nuisance at scape, trying to stop rachel from hacking my fb, trying to get tricia to swear/share food, trying on huge ass fur coats in h&m, taking so many embarrassing photos odg etc wowow thank you for the wonderful day out!!

the photos were bad enough when we took it but somehow when compiled it is 10000x worse uRGH but it is a good kind of baD so i don't mind heh heh

then on 7 jan was supposed to go for a picnic at marina barrage with eileen and val
which turned out to be a birthday surprise for the 678 jan babies sobosbosbos i was super super super touched okay?!?!?!? :') i don't deserve it man what a wonderful surprise i was seriously damn surprised hAAHAHA

ok met eileen on the train (IT WASN'T EXACTLY MET IT WAS MORE OF FATE HOHOHHOHO) and then she said she had to go toilet for woman problems at first so we alighted. then when we reached promenade she wanted to go see the downtown line so we went (IT WAS A DIVERSIONARY TACTIC BEC KELLY WAS ON THE NEXT TRAIN AND WE WOULD'VE SEEN EACH OTHER HAHAHA) and then on the way she kept saying she had to text her gb friends for some competition n told me all about her gb comps (good luck this year btw) but she tURNED OUT TO BE COMMUNICATING WITH THE REST WHO WERE HIDING OUT AT MARINA BARRAGE HAHAHA and wow the amount of skill and coordination and planning just seemed super good and organised ok lolol

had a wonderful time at the barrage sitting around playing cards/taking photos/eating/making fun of jasmine/playing with water/frisbee and i swear the weather was kinda perfect haha. kind of sad i had to leave halfway though (but it was with kelly birthday girl ha so we took the bus back but we got lost and both of us ended up late ahaha)

pretty pretty cover pic!!

this was the best jumpshot the rest were all hilariously fail

ok there are more but they're on facebook so haha

then went for dental which was damn anticlimax sian

today: went back to rg for ccao!!!!! went for lunch before that and stupid steph revealed my deepest darkest secret to half the platoon >( also saw juniors but part as ran from us boo boooo booooooo part as why????? :-(((( anw then went out w yx and jasmine to buy uniform!! actually i crashed their date HAHA sorry bbys. but it was fun. and thanks for the treat jasmine! for some reason my legs were aching damn badly and i was damn tired halfway through the day sigh guess being 17 has taken its toll

anyway super super glad for these 3 days and of course my friends and family (and also bird heehhe) thank you so much for putting up with me throughout the years and for making my life so colourful <3

also jasmine i hope you have finally done up yuor blog post??? pls dont give up after wrting about the first 10 minutes of your day pls jasmine that is depressing

♥ 6:57 AM

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

HELLO NAT N YUEXIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!!!!
i hope u will not be disappointed (it is boring hahahahahaha)
but
have fun reading!!!! i will put more photos of us together ok

♥ 5:50 AM

remember when i tried doing book reviews on the blog ahhahahahah ahahagahhahagah it lasted one post oh well

♥ 5:47 AM

Friday, January 3, 2014

let us die young or let us live forever
we don't have the power, but we never say never
sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
the music's for the sad men

can you imagine when this race is won?
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders, we're getting in tune
the music's played by the, the madmen

it's so hard to get old without a cause

i don't want to perish like a fleeing horse
youth's like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever

so many adventures couldn't happen today
so many songs we forgot to play
so many dreams swinging out of the blue
we let them come true

forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever?

♥ 5:39 AM

Thursday, January 2, 2014

in 2013 i:

1. found out that i was capable of loving something more than myself. my family, who's shown me that time and time again yet somehow i was too dense to reciprocate; my friends, who are like the siblings i never had; and my little baby The Bird/Genie - i now know what it feels like to be a mother!!

2. realised that what goes around comes around. karma's a bitch, but sometimes it's my bitch ;-)

3. learnt that the greatest joys often come from the simplest of acts. mm'14 was an extremely enriching and rewarding experience, and the beneficiaries have taught/given me more than we have them. also,

4. found truth to the statement 'make new friends, but keep the old; for one is silver and the other is gold' - i'd like to think that both are gold though, just that some need more polishing than the others. rediscovered the joys of old friendships, and made new (and hopefully long-lasting) friends. :)

5. realised that anything is possible so long as i put my mind to it. i mean i've heard it a lot before, but i guess previously i've never actually put in as much effort as i did this year. and i have to say, it's an incredibly humbling and rewarding feeling to see it all pay off.

6. had a blast!

in hindsight, 2013 was a year filled with trials and tribulations, so many firsts and yet too many lasts, regrets and triumphs, and above all, new experiences. immensely thankful for everyone who's been through everything with me, and here's to a better year ahead!

♥ 9:18 PM