I liked snow because I used to associate snow with warmth and hot chocolate and snuggles by the fireplace and making snowman with the family and well, love.

(the innocent ideologies of childhood, once again dispelled by reality)

but now, snow is just that - cold, white, unfeeling and devoid of happiness and warmth. now I associate snow with the grim winters of the tundra, the blinding harshness of white, the desolation of the endless stretches of snow going on and on and on and there's no ending and you're doomed to wander forever

(or maybe until you succumb to the cold)

maybe you meet that a few passing penguins and arctic foxes and they provide you with warmth and solace but it's only temporary and you're still alone

(but you wish - no, you ache for someone to walk with you, for someone to make a cup of hot chocolate when it's cold, for someone to hold your hand and snuggle by the fireplace with you, for someone who understands) 

in another time, in a previous time, you would've been happy and content with the endless blanket of snow - because hey, lots of snow to make snowmen and snow angels and have snowball fights and it's all fun fun fun and happiness isn't it? but that was when you were young and innocent and full of naïveté; now you know that there're no (easy) happy endings and that no one is immune to the cold

and it's not just snow because on bad days there's hail too
on bad days there's an endless barrage of hail
on bad days a dark cloud hangs overhead, its presence thick and silent but so poignant

now I wish I was immune to the winter
surrounded by the barren emptiness but unfeeling and numb because I'm too used to the cold to care, because I've been out in the cold so long it doesn't matter anymore.

it doesn't matter anymore

I wish summer would come.

♥ 8:11 AM